I'm in class right now. I don't want to be. I was almost late, and almost figured I'd just skip it, but I've been so good in this class, and there's not a lot left to do, so I'll finish it out.
I was up until 4 last night working on a smallish rought draft of my 10 page oral history report. As a part of that, I also transcribed the interview that I conducted with my grandma. The stories she can tell... Really there are some you just can't make up. Like how my grandpa was going to practice law with his friend, but his friend got the call and became a baptist minister.
So yeah, this is a trivial update. Maybe I can start updating this more often after all...
4.24.2009
4.22.2009
Some Reflections
Why am I still awake?
Well, the semester ends in a few weeks, and I suppose I'm switching modes already. The summer has always brought me back to life, and part of that is normally a lot of sleeping in. The fact that I have to be in class in 7 hours disgusts me. I want this to be over, to be back home. Yet I might be staying here this summer.
I'm in a daze. Maybe it's the lack of sleep. The many things on my mind.
I guess I'm feeling a little complicated about the fact that this whole college thing is half-over. I don't feel like I've achieved much, and it's hard to think that the next two years could be different. I know that the last two will probably be the best, but it's daunting to think that I'm only two years out from the "real world." Sometimes I don't want to wait for it, but sometimes I want to start it over again.
I'm rambling, but I guess that's ok.
This semester has confounded me. I had grown used to my method of existing here, and I'm still not sure whether I like where the past half-year has taken me. I've found someone I love and who loves me. I've started a student organization that might very well outlast me. I've lost some friends and gained better ones. The past month has been trying, yet I am still here, still as poised on the fine line between success and failure as I've ever been.
I just can't seem to settle on whether the whole thing is right. I feel melancholy like back in highschool, but in a deeper, more peaceful and reflective way. I feel very sad, yet aware of how frighteningly beautiful the pan-out will reveal the picture to be. The whole thing is so delicately nuanced that I can't seem to describe it.
Good night,
Chris
Well, the semester ends in a few weeks, and I suppose I'm switching modes already. The summer has always brought me back to life, and part of that is normally a lot of sleeping in. The fact that I have to be in class in 7 hours disgusts me. I want this to be over, to be back home. Yet I might be staying here this summer.
I'm in a daze. Maybe it's the lack of sleep. The many things on my mind.
I guess I'm feeling a little complicated about the fact that this whole college thing is half-over. I don't feel like I've achieved much, and it's hard to think that the next two years could be different. I know that the last two will probably be the best, but it's daunting to think that I'm only two years out from the "real world." Sometimes I don't want to wait for it, but sometimes I want to start it over again.
I'm rambling, but I guess that's ok.
This semester has confounded me. I had grown used to my method of existing here, and I'm still not sure whether I like where the past half-year has taken me. I've found someone I love and who loves me. I've started a student organization that might very well outlast me. I've lost some friends and gained better ones. The past month has been trying, yet I am still here, still as poised on the fine line between success and failure as I've ever been.
I just can't seem to settle on whether the whole thing is right. I feel melancholy like back in highschool, but in a deeper, more peaceful and reflective way. I feel very sad, yet aware of how frighteningly beautiful the pan-out will reveal the picture to be. The whole thing is so delicately nuanced that I can't seem to describe it.
Good night,
Chris
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